So it turns out the person I’m a PA for is a Mormon. I don’t know much about Mormons other than the fact that they’re homophobic, their women are only good for making babies, and the men secretly crave dick, so I thought I’d learn more about the Book of Mormon.
Oh Em Gee! The Book of Mormon is hilarious. Apparently, a bunch of Israelites left Jerusalem in 600BC for America because it was the Promised Land. Whatever happened to them? The Vikings didn’t find them. Colonialists didn’t find them. Archaeologists can’t find them. And genetic evidence has proven no native American groups are related to peoples of the ancient Near East. :(
And then after Jesus was resurrected, he decided to visit America. Seriously, he visited America. I’m sure he had better things to do, like holla at Mary Magdalene or maybe get his hair did. But, no, he was like, “Check you later, I’m going to America, maybe go to Starbucks.”
It also points out that monarchy is the ideal form of government. But, also, kings can be evil, so monarchy is not good. Make up your minds!
Did you know elephants are native to the US? Not migrating woolly mammoths, actual elephants.
Not to mention some unknown angel decides to tell some random guy in America the whole story. Oh, and half the book was lost because this guy lent them to a friend that never gave them back. For real.
It’s only slightly less idiotic than Scientology. I’m beginning to think that the less I know about it, the better.